Visiting Teachers - Angels and Milk

It was a Saturday morning unlike any I had ever had before and one that I pray I never have again.  I was sitting on the couch surrounded by family when the doorbell rang.  I gathered myself off the couch and slowly headed to the front door.  Upon opening the door I saw my Visiting Teaching companion standing there with grocery bags and a gallon of milk.  The first words out of her mouth were, "I was at the grocery store when I heard and I thought you could use these."

It was then that the tears started again to stream down my face.  I was once again surprised that I had any tears left since I had been crying almost constantly since my husbands death the night before.

Here stood at my doorstep one of Heavenly Father's angels.  Someone who listened to the spirit and was thoughtful enough to bring milk. Milk!  Of all things milk.  But it was what I needed because I had gone to the fridge that morning and realized that we were out of milk and needless to say the last thing I wanted to do was head to the grocery store to buy milk.

When she saw the tears start to flow she in turn started to cry with me.  There weren't words to express how much her coming to see me meant to me.  I know she would have enveloped me in her arms if her arms weren't already full of groceries so I lead her into the kitchen where she placed the groceries on the counter then we hugged and cried.

It's amazing how much communication can be exchanged without saying a word.

I'm so thankful that I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.  I'm grateful that my Heavenly Father established the Relief Society for the women of the church.  I'm grateful that we have Visiting Teachers and companions.  And more than anything I'm grateful to this dear sister who was in tune with the spirit that Saturday.

Beast! Mean, rude and uptight! Who me?

I follow a blogger called Single Dad Laughing or SDL.  I quite enjoy his wit and humor and his quirky way of looking at life.  However, yesterday he posted a blog that I guess, best put, had me up in arms.  The title of the blog was Vicious Nurses and Saintly Lawyers (you can read it here http://www.danoah.com/2015/02/vicious-nurses-and-saintly-lawyers.html).

The whole gist of his blog entry for the day is dating nurses vs. dating lawyers and his conclusion.  To say that I was offended, that as an RN (registered nurse) I got generalized as being a "beast....mean, rude and uptight", is putting it lightly.  There really wasn't any reason for me to take offense to his comments since it was his point of view and hey, he's never met me!  Mostly it hurt my feelings.  I feel that I try my best to always put my best foot forward and put a smile on my face even when I sometimes feel there is absolutely nothing to smile about.

However, after reading some of the responses to SDL's blog I thought he possibly has a valid point in his generalization.  Even though it was just that, a generalization.

I especially liked the comment posted by 1 Vicious Nurse.....

At first I was offended....then I started thinking about what you said.....I am vicious... I am an ICU nurse in a very busy high acuity trauma ICU, I have been for 10 years. Some of the things I've seen are worse than horror movies..... Only, they're not movies. It's real. Very real, happening to real people in real life. People who hurt and feel. People whose lives will be forever changed. And their families. I've had to tell people time and again that their loved one "isn't going to make it" and that they should say their goodbyes. I don't ever forget the look, the devastating pain in that mothers eyes when I told her that her 16 year old son was hit by a car and is dying. That she has to go to his side now or she will miss him. I viciously hold back my own tears. So that I may be a rock. A center for the hurting. Even though all I want to do is drop to my knees with her because I can actually feel her pain. I have kids of my own. Every day it's sad stories. Emotionally exhausting. The physical exhaustion of a minimum 12 hours shift, in the middle of the night, walking... Running... literally 13 miles a shift, Lifting over and over men twice my size. Viciously fighting to keep them alive. Minute by minute. Never stopping to eat or even pee because if I stepped away for even a minute... Then..... On top of this... All of this... I have to be perfect. No mistakes. Not even one. If I do, someone could die. If I miss something, even the slightest change in my patients condition. People can die. I call the doctor in the middle of the night and argue viciously over and over again to get your hurting mother, father, daughter the pain medication they need . Healthcare workers are the most assaulted occupation, so I fear for my safety, constantly. I won't even touch on the issues of overpaid administration and insurance companies 'cost cutting' meanwhile padding their pockets leaving us short staffed and in desperate need of functioning equipment and supplies. It is nearly impossible to leave all of this 'at the office' so to speak. It is that ability to feel all of this so deeply and manage all of this so viciously with your entire being that makes a nurse great. I have changed. I know that. I am less patient in some areas of my life, but so much more in others. My compassion is unending. I am able to value every moment I have with my amazing husband and my 3 beautiful babies...... Because really you never know when it could be your last. So am I vicious ? Hell yes! And I own it!

Thank you 1 Vicious Nurse for saying exactly what I felt!  It definitely takes a special breed to be a nurse especially if you work in the ICU or ER!  I worked in the Pediatric ICU for 4 years.  I loved what I did but to say that my shifts sucked the life out of me would be a huge understatement.  When I was at work I had to always be at the top of my game because a child's life depended on it.  One mistake on my part could cost a life. I also remember working some 12 hour shifts where I didn't even get to eat or pee because I was too busy.  I remember the Mother's day when 3 children on our 26 bed unit died all from "freak" accidents.  Watching the parents succumbed to their grief and crying the whole 30 minute drive home so that I could have a grip on my emotions when I got home to my husband and children.

Yes, I'm a nurse!  Vicious, mean, rude, uptight?  Maybe at times.  But through all my experiences I've learned to value each and every person in my life and to cherish every moment I have with them for I know that life is precious and so fleeting.